


you know what that memes

by miraculousphantom



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Group Chat Fic, Internet Friends AU, M/M, Modern AU, Mutual Pining, and keith shiro and allura, except pidge who is going into junior year, none of them have met irl except lance and hunk (once), shiro and allura go to the same college, the rest of them are going in to their senior year of hs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-20
Updated: 2017-08-31
Packaged: 2018-12-17 14:52:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11853861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miraculousphantom/pseuds/miraculousphantom
Summary: la(ss)nce: yall.,.,.,.,. guess fucking whatpidgey: you finally got over one direction breaking upla(ss)nce: can we perhaps.... not attack me when i have newskeith kogayne: can you ,.,... perhaps....,.,.,. stop,.,.,. doing,,,.,. this.,.,.la(ss)nce: okla(ss)nce: im gonna kick all of your asses.la(ss)nce: when I See You All At SDCC This Year.pidgey: W H E N Y O U W H A Thunk as fuck: !!!!!!!!!!keith kogayne: WH A Tqueen allura: LANCEla(ss)nce: I GOT SDCC TICKETSla(ss)nce: YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEMES





	1. fuck marry kill

_**( 11:23 PM-May 8th 2017)** _

_**keith kogayne named the conversation "Lance Is Still The Biggest**_ _**Lou** **is** **Girl"**_

 **pidgey:** lance it's been years why do you still love louis

 **la(ss)nce:** what

 **la(ss)nce:** oh

 **la(ss)nce:** oh okay

 **la(ss)nce:** OKAY KOGANE 

 **la(ss)nce:** I REALLY THOUGHT FACETIMING WITH YOU WAS A SAFE PLACE

 **la(ss)nce:** but i guess i was wrong thanks for showing your true colors

 **keith kogayne:** when did i ever say it was safe here

 **keith kogayne:** if anyone was curious he's yelling at me rn with no control by one direction playing in the background bc 'it was louis' song and im still so proud'

 **queen allura:** i mean,,, he's not wrong. you guys werent in the one direction fandom when no control happened. there was a whole campaign and i think lance ran most of it

 **queen allura:** i miss one direction too shit man

 **la(ss)nce:** allura i cant believe we are still friends even after one direction ended and we changed fandoms

 **queen allura:** i think we've bonded over the fact we're the only ones of our mutuals who havent turned to kpop stans 

 **boneless hand:** what's wrong with kpop

 **la(ss)nce:** nothingbut all our mutuals became kpop stans and left us but that's just how life works

 **pidgey:** lance you still havent answered my question why do you still love him. he looks like he's on crack now tbh

 **la(ss)nce:** I JUST M I SS ONE DIRECTION SOMETIMES OK,.... I LOVED LOUIS A LOT HE WAS BETTER BACK THEN 

keith **kogayne:** have you watched his audition on x-factor 

 **keith kogayne:** he's yelling at me again yall 

 **pidgey:** you know lance still liking one direction isnt shocking

 **pidgey:** since he also still hasnt let go of big time rush

 **la(ss)nce:** why is today roast lance day,.,.... im a nice person,.,.... fuck you all

 **hunk as fuck:**   hello everyone i hate to break up roasting lance but i have an important announcment

 **pidgey:** oh do tell sweet hunk

 **hunk as fuck:** as we all know, our sweet allura and shiro (and coran but the man is literally working it so bless his heart) are attending sdcc this year and we are all extremely jealous

 **hunk as fuck:** well

 **hunk as fuck:** be prepared to be jealous of 3 of us bc guess who just got tickets

 **la(ss)nce:** oh my GO D HUNK RLLY THATS SO LIT

 **pidgey:** OH MY GOD YOU GUYS HAVE TO FUCKING GET TOGETHER THAT WILL BE SO PERFECT 

 **la(ss)nce:** im not even gonna be there but im so excited for my kids to finally meet. i hope it's just as magical as when hunk and i met (((':

 **hunk as fuck:** that will always be very magical 

 **keith kogayne:** WAIT HUNK IS GOING

 **keith kogayne:** well i guess now is as good as a time to say it to yall

 **keith kogayne:** shiro got me tickets to go too. so hunk ill catch you there too

 **hunk as fuck** **:** HOLY SHIT FR 

 **keith kogayne:** i feel a constant need to update this. lance is again screaming at me, this time for me not telling him earlier. i am apparently a traitor. 

 **la(ss)nce:** bc you are 

 **keith kogayne:** can you pls talk to me

la **(ss)nce:** hm

 **la(ss)nce:** no im not gonna speak

 **la(ss)nce:** no i wont stop only responding to you in the gc 

 **la(ss)nce:** no

 **la(ss)nce:** no

 **la(ss)nce:** i love u too but no

 **pidgey:** first of all lance what the fuck 

 **pidgey:** second of all O H MY GODDDDD. that means 5/7 of the gc is gonna be together.... leaving me and lance in the wind

 **keith kogayne:** to explain what lance is doing. he wont physically speak to me rn. he's just blasting made in the am and responding to me through here.

 **keith kogayne:** we'll be sure to send you lots of pics

 **la(ss)nce:** can someone be sure to cut off keith's mullet when they see him. 

* * *

_**( 5:20 PM-May 14th 2017)** _

_**Lance Is Still The Biggest Louis Girl** _

**pidgey:** 4:20 blaze it yall

 **la(ss)nce:** it's 5:20. 

 **pidgey:** time isnt real

 **pidgey:** but you know what is real

 **pidgey:** me and matt going to sdcc 

 **keith kogayne:** Y OU AND MATT ARE DOING WHAT 

 **boneless hand:** oh my god are you guys actually coming??? this is going to be so much fun!!!!

 **la(ss)nce:** ARE you for fucking REAL

 **la(ss)nce:** IM GONNA BE THE ONLY ON E NOT THERE 

 **la(ss)nce:** this is biphobic. 

 **hunk as fuck:**!!!!!! ((((((((((: for pidge !!!!

 **hunk as fuck:** )))))): for lance

 **queen allura:** oh my god pidge!!! that's so exciting. we will have you in our thoughts bro

 **la(ss)nce:** im so happy for all of you.,..,,. but if no one actually pulls through and cuts off keith's mullet for me im gonna be pissed.

 **pidgey:** ill do it

 **la(ss)nce:** i knew i could always count on you. 

* * *

****

_**( 1:13 AM-May 19th 2017)** _

_**Lance Is Still The Biggest Louis Girl** _

**la(ss)nce:** okay important question

 **la(ss)nce:** like super important

 **pidgey:** what 

 **hunk as fuck:** yeah?

 **boneless hand:** hm

 **keith kogayne:** SHUT UP 

 **la(ss)nce:** ok so fuck marry kill: bowser, sonic and crash bandicoot

 **boneless hand:** alright lance it's time to go to sleep 

 **la(ss)nce:** BLAME YOUR BROTHER HE'S THE REASON IM UP AND THE REASON IM ASKING THIS QUESTION BC HE IS INTOLERABLE 

 **pidgey:** fuck crash, marry sonic, kill bowser. easy. 

 **pidgey:** also funny how you call him intolerable and yet you two facetime every night. 

 **la(ss)nce:** first of all THANK YOU PIDGE I AGREE KEITH WONT ANSWER THE FUCKING WUESTION BC HE SAYS THAT CRASH IS A LITTLE ASSHOLE SO HE'S TRYING TO SAY HE'LL KILL BOTH BOSWER AND CRASH AND WONT GET IT THROUGH HIS THICK FUCKING SKULL THAT HE C A N T DO  THA T 

 **la(ss)nce:** second of all we ft nightly bc we're rivals and need to make it known how much we hate each other by talking about it for at least 5 hours a day. 

 **hunk as fuck:** personally i think i would marry crash and fuck sonic. still kill bowser tho

 **pidgey:** reasons?

 **hunk as fuck:** idk i feel like being married to crash would be an exciting journey. 

 **la(ss)nce:** ya but sonic can show you the world

 **keith kogayne:** crash bandicoot can drop dead any day and i wouldnt bat an eye

 **boneless hand:** crash cant rlly die if he's a cartoon

 **keith kogayne:** ill kill him myself. 

 **pidgey:** keith just answer it. 

 **keith kogayne:** i did. fuck and marry sonic. kill bowser and crash.

 **la(ss)nce:** WHATS YOUR FUCKING BEEF WITH CRASH BANDICOOT

 **keith kogayne:** I DONT NEED TO EXPLAIN MY HATRED FOR THAT OVERHYPED FURRY

 **la(ss)nce:** bitch you ARE A F U R R Y 

 **keith kogayne:** i think you're mistaking me for yourself. 

 **la(ss)nce:** OK....,.. CALL OUT CULTURE IS NOT TOLERATED IN THIS CHAT 

 **queen allura:** this entire chat is based off call out culture. 

_**keith kogayne named the conversation "lance is a furry** _ _**"** _

_**la(ss)nce named the conversation "keith is trying to hide the fact he's a furry by blaming it on me and hating crash"** _

_**keith kogayne named the conversation "lance still listens to hamilton"** _

_**la(ss)nce named the conversation "why would you think im offended by people knowing that"** _

_**pidge named the conversation "stop renaming the convo you dicks and SPEAK T O EACH OTHER WE KNOW YOURE ON FACETIME"** _

_**la(ss)nce named the conversation "keith is crying over mcr again"** _

**queen allura:** like i said. this whole gc is based off of call out culture. 

* * *

 

_**( 5:33 PM-May 25th 2017)** _

_**keith is crying over mcr again**_  

 **la(ss)nce:** yall.,.,.,.,. guess fucking what

 **pidgey:** you finally got over one direction breaking up

 **la(ss)nce** : can we perhaps.... not attack me when i have news

 **keith kogayne:** can you ,.,... perhaps....,.,.,. stop,.,.,. doing,,,.,. this.,.,.

 **la(ss)nce** : ok

 **la(ss)nce** : im gonna kick all of your asses.

 **la(ss)nce** : when I See You All At SDCC This Year.

 **pidgey:** W H E N Y O U W H A T

 **hunk as fuck:** !!!!!!!!!!

 **keith kogayne:** WH A T

 **queen allura:** LANCE

 **la(ss)nce:** I GOT SDCC TICKETS

 **la(ss)nce:** YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEMES 

**hunk as fuck** : WE'RE ALL GONNA MEET

 **pidgey:** this is gonna happen actually... the whole fucking squad... is gonna meet

 **la(ss)nce:**!!!! YALL THOUGHT YOU WEREGONNA LEavE ME BEHIND BUT NOPE YOU THOUGHT WRONG 

 **keith kogayne:** lance i dont think you get it. i was having a really shitty day.

 **keith kogayne:** and this has made me so happy. i started crying. 

 **keith kogayne:** like im actually crying at work rn 

 **la(ss)nce:** like mcr tears?

 **keith kogayne:** bigger than mcr tears

 **la(ss)nce:** that's so fucking soft bro.... 

* * *

 

_**( 5:48 PM-May 25th 2017)** _

_**pidgey added boneless hand, hunk as fuck and queen allura to a group chat:** _

_**pidgey renamed the group chat "klance bets"** _

**pidge:** aight we making bets. im saying keith and lance make out on the first night

 **hunk as fuck:** lmao im betting within the first 2 hours

 **queen allura:** ehhhhhh idk about first day. im thinking like the second night and keith is gonna do it on accident. 

 **boneless hand:** yeah i agree with allura. 

 **pidge:** aight bet. whoever is closest gets 20 bucks from the rest.

 **hunk as fuck:** bet 

 **boneless hand:** bet

 **queen allura:** bet


	2. keith is that enchilada dude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pidgey: i'd be down to go to comic con as tails. can shiro be shadow
> 
> boneless hand: im down for that. 
> 
> las(ss)nce: keith is that enchilada dude
> 
> pidgey: ENCHILADA
> 
> la(ss)nce: tf is he called
> 
> pidgey: ECHIDNA
> 
> la(ss)nce: I MEAN??? CLOSE ENOUGH I NEVER ACTUALLY WATCHED OR PLAYED SONIC 
> 
> hunk as fuck: can we please go as sonic the hedgehogs characters I think we'd be the edgiest kids at comic con

**_( 7:58 PM-May 29th 2017)_ **

**_Private Message: la(ss)nce & keith kogayne_ **

**la(ss)nce:** keith

**la(ss)nce:** keith

**la(ss)nce:** keith

**la(ss)nce:** keithy

**la(ss)nce:** keith

**la(ss)nce:** buddy

**la(ss)nce:** my man

**la(ss)nce:** keith

**la(ss)nce:** keith im bored

**la(ss)nce:** get off of work it's almost 7 for you you should be getting off now 

**la(ss)nce:** keith pls

**la(ss)nce:** why do you hate me so much i thought what we had was special

**la(ss)nce:** give me attention 

**la(ss)nce:** keith

**la(ss)nce:** keith

**la(ss)nce:** keeeitiitthhhhhh

**la(ss)nce:** keithhhhhh

**la(ss)nce:** keith

**la(ss)nce:** keithyyyyyyy

**la(ss)nce:** keith aaron kogane

**la(ss)nce:** that's such a stupid middle name you look nothing like a keith aaron. 

**la(ss)nce:** keithhhhh are you done with work yet i wanna facetime bc im BORED 

**la(ss)nce:** keith

**la(ss)nce:** keith doesnt look like a name anymore i dont know if ive spelled it right anymore

**keith kogayne:** at what point did me turning on my phone after my shift to you excessively texting me become the norm

**la(ss)nce:** KEITH FINALLY

**la(ss)nce:** can we ft now

**keith kogayne:** when i get home 

**keith kogayne:** so give me like 20 minutes 

**la(ss)nce:** im giving you exactly 20 minutes

**las(ss)nce:** 1

**las(ss)nce:** 2

**las(ss)nce:** 3

**las(ss)nce:** 4

**las(ss)nce:** 5

**las(ss)nce:** 6

**las(ss)nce:** 7

**las(ss)nce:** 8

**las(ss)nce:** 9

**las(ss)nce:** 10

**las(ss)nce:** 11

**las(ss)nce:** 12

**keith kogayne:** im home let me get on my laptop then ill call you okay?

**las(ss)nce:** :D

**keith kogayne:** no

****las(ss)nce:**** D:

**keith kogayne:** yes

****las(ss)nce:**** :D

* * *

"You're really annoying you know that?" Was the first thing Keith said after the facetime call had connected. Keith didn't even bother to change out of his work uniform yet because he knew if he made Lance wait any longer he would spam him more and his phone battery already dies fast enough without Lance's spams. 

"Well maybe if you answered me right away I wouldn't be so annoying. Aw I never get to see you in your work uniform how cute." Lance said smiling as he carried his phone with him downstairs. Keith groaned at the comment about his uniform and rolled his eyes. 

"Pleaseeeee. I look like a fucking referee. Like working at a trampoline place really isn't hard, it's a good job. But I cannot stand these uniforms, I feel like I have to call foul shots while kids are playing." 

"Well I think you look good." Lance said and set his phone against a napkin holder so he could walk freely around his kitchen, "Should I make a quesadilla or mac and cheese?" 

"Whichever one doesn't require an oven." Keith responded with a sly smile.

"No. We aren't having this dumb ass argument over microwaves and ovens again." Lance said looking at him with a stern look. 

"Just admit microwaves are better and it will end."

"IT'S BEEN A YEAR KEITH. CAN YOU JUST ACCEPT THAT YOU'RE A BABY WHO IS SCARED OF OVENS." 

"Microwaves do everything an oven can do but quicker, safer and easier."

"Yeah I don't disagree but you're sacrificing good tasting food. Every time you make pizza rolls in the microwave I want to die. They're soggy and don't taste as good as when you make them in an oven. In the oven they come out Same thing goes for mac and cheese. Yeah the microwavable ones are fine but but Kraft mac and cheese from a stove is 10x better. You know what? I'm making the mac and cheese just to spite you." Lance said and went to his pantry and grabbed his box mac and cheese. This was really their typical FaceTime calls. 

"Fine but don't come crying to me when the stove burns down your house." 

"A stove.." Lance started but took a deep breath, "I'm not letting you bait me in. I'm going to make my mac and cheese in peace and you will not stop me." Keith started laughing at Lance's dramatic way of making his mac and cheese. 

"Okay okay okay. I'm sorry for questioning your ways of making mac and cheese. How about you tell me about your day?" Keith asked and leaned back in his chair. 

“It was pretty good, I was babysitting. My mom had to pick up a double shift so i was alone taking care of a three year old and a five year old. Three year olds are so funny many let me tell you what Jacob did today. I was picking him up, right, like to get him away from something and when i grabbed him he went ‘don't touch me i’m dangerous’ and I busted out laugh.” Lance explained and started chuckling as he was explaining the story. “And then Jasmine didn't want me near her toys right? Because I used to take her toys when she was like three so she’s been defensive with them ever since. Anyway so I walked into their playroom and was like ‘So what do we got here?’ and she pushes me out of the room and was like ‘No. You sit on the couch and don't move.’ And every time I got up you just heard her scream ‘Nooooooo! You sit!’ God I love being an uncle.” Lance explained more still laughing while he was telling the story. 

God Keith loved his laugh. 

And he loved listening to his stories. Lance talks so much during these calls there's barely ever any dead air. He appreciates that a lot since he doesn't always have a lot to say. 

“So Jas and Jake are all good? How’s Jas’ arm? She got the cast off?” Keith asked because he’s pretty concerned with those kids lives. Lance and him FaceTimed once when he was babysitting because Jasmine wanted to meet ‘the mullethead from Lance’s phone”. She was so funny and told Lance she liked Keith better than him and said Keith’s hair was cool. 

So yeah he liked her alot. 

“Yes she’s good! She said she wanted to talk to Keith but I had to explain you were working. Oh which reminds me! I told her how we’re gonna meet and she asked me if she can come. She loves you way too much Keith.” Lance said checking to see if his pasta for the mac and cheese was almost done. 

“She is an actual angel. Also, I still can’t believe you got comic con tickets. I don’t think it would be as fun without you, honestly.” 

“Awww, someone’s in a really soft mood.”

“Shut it.”

“You are though. Hearing that Jasmine misses you made you all soft and weak. I mean, you cried at work over me.” 

“SHUT UP. I was having a bad day and I got really good news. You would have cried too.” Keith said covering his face. “Can we talk about the fact we’re all getting together though?” He added taking his hands off his face. 

“We need to talk about this honestly. Like, what are we all cosplaying as?” Lance said while straining his macaroni.

“I’m just saying, that looks like a lot more work than just having microwaving.”

“Can you maybe answer my question instead of trying to fight me on microwaves again. Really! What are we gonna do?” Lance said giving Keith the same ‘Focus for once in your life’ look he does a lot. 

“I don’t know. I honestly wasn’t even planning on cosplaying as anything.” This makes Lance gasp so dramatically. 

“San Diego Comic Con is basically the BIGGEST and MOST IMPORTANT CON of the year and you’re like ‘eh I don’t even wanna.’ No no no no no. We need to discuss this. And we all need to match. Oh! Like do an iconic team up or something.” 

“Hmmm, what about that one anime from like the 80s? Voltron? That was pretty cool.”

“What the fuck Keith no one is gonna get a reference to some dead 80s anime. When did you even have time to watch that?”

“After you guys made me start watching that shit I found it and thought it looked interesting. It’s cool you would like it, it’s about space lions. You love space.” 

“Yeah I love space in good animation. I’m looking this up.” Lance said and his video went to pause and Keith could hear him tapping on his phone. “Keith, do you like this show because you identify with the guy who also has a really ugly mullet?” Keith finally heard him say after a couple of seconds.

“Hey! Okay! I just finished watching the show like a month ago I was just thinking about it. What about shows we’ve all watched? And that people would get.”

Lance put himself back on the screen and showing him putting his mac and cheese in a bowl. “What about sonic characters?” Lance joked.

“I’m exposing you as a fucking furry again.” Keith said and started typing in their group chat.

“STOP I WAS JOKING.” Lance yelled. “Keith please, I don’t want the group chat to be named Lance is a furry again.” 

“Sorry can’t hear you.”

**_( 8:42 PM-May 29th 2017)_ **

**_keith is crying over mcr again_ **

**keith kogayne:** lance is a furry guys. like forreal. he wants us all to go to comic con as sonic characters

**la(ss)nce:** i... was joking... you piece of shit. he genuinely wanted to go as characters from voltron. i had never heard of voltron til he mentioned it. at least people know sonic

**keith kogayne:** OKAY IT'S HAD LIKE 2 REBOOTS

**la(ss)nce:** okay??? did they flop i havent heard of them 

**pidgey:** i'd be down to go to comic con as tails. can shiro be shadow

**boneless hand:** im down for that. 

**las(ss)nce:** keith is that enchilada dude

**pidgey:** ENCHILADA

**la(ss)nce:** tf is he called

**pidgey** **:** ECHIDNA

**la(ss)nce:** I MEAN??? CLOSE ENOUGH I NEVER ACTUALLY WATCHED OR PLAYED SONIC 

**hunk as fuck** **:** can we please go as sonic the hedgehogs characters I think we'd be the edgiest kids at comic con

**la(ss)nce:** i refuse... to be called a furry at comic con... and im not walking into the young justice panel... dressed as sonic....

**pidgey:** *wally west voice* gotta go fast

**keith kogayne:** ya wally would def go as sonic

**la(ss)nce:** do not speak of the dead this way

**queen allura:** DONT SAY HE'S DEAD HE ISNT DEAD

**la(ss)nce:** THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS WE ARENT GOING AS SONIC CHARACTERS 

**pidgey:** now wait a second i was getting pumped for it

**boneless hand:** yeah me too i wanted to be shadow he's so badass

**keith kogayne:** you really gonna break my brother's heart like that lance?

**la(ss)nce:** dont fuel the fire kogane. 

* * *

"You caused this hell." Lance said rubbing his face. "We need to think of an actual good idea!" Lance said pouting at Keith. It always makes him get what he wants, it's basically the equivalent of a little kid giving you puppy dog eyes for your ice cream.

"Please don't give me that face." Keith said while giving him a pouty face back. "We have time, Lance." He said and started scrolling through his twitter feed. 

"We have like less than two months which if we want to make good costumes we should start now." Lance said and groaned. He knew Keith was right and that things would fall into place he just wanted to have it all done now. He wanted it to be July. He wanted to be in San Diego. He wanted to meet his friends. He just wanted to meet Keith already. FaceTime is great and he's eternally grateful for it but fuck he just wanted to be able to touch Keith already.  He let out one more obnoxiously loud groan just to make sure Keith knows he is in fact still annoyed but Keith just hummed in response and continued scrolling through his feed. Lance ended up doing the same. They end up like this a lot, in some friendships, especially internet friendships, there is always this feeling that you need to talk, especially when you're video chatting. But Keith and Lance talk so much that silence has grown normal to them. They don't feel a need to fill the dead air with anything because it's comfortable. 

They end up like this for a couple more hors, occasionally talking and sending each other memes then getting into conversations about random shit then back to silence. It's a never ending cycle. Lance rambles on about this one video he saw for like 10 minutes and Keith listens to him because Lance speaking relaxes him, he loves Lance's voice so hearing him speak just makes him happy. 

Eventually though the two of them get tired because sadly they do have to go to school the next day. 

"Alright, I'm gonna go to sleep. Night buddy." Lance said and smiles while waving to Keith.

"Night Lance." He said and finally ends the FaceTime with a genuine and huge smile on his face.

* * *

 

**_( 12:43 AM-May 30th 2017)_ **

**_keith is crying over mcr again_ **

**la(ss)nce:** MOTHER FUCKERS I GOT IT

**la(ss)nce:** I KNOW WHAT WE'RE GOING TO SDCC AS

**la(ss)nce:** YALL!!! THS IS IMPORTANT I KNOWYOURE AWAKE

**keith kogayne:** i thought we decided on sonic

****la(ss)nce:**** NOT NOW KOGANE

**pidgey:** okay lancey whatcha got

******la(ss)nce:** WE GO AS TEAM AVATAR.

**keith kogayne:**.....wait....

**keith kogayne:** that's actually an amazing idea

**hunk as fuck:** I WANNA BE BOLIN. I CALL HIM. I LOVE HIM 

**queen allura:** lance i actually love this idea. it all works out so perfect. ill be katara

**la(ss)nce:** IM SOKKA. HI SIS

**pidgey:** im toph fuck yes 

**keith kogayne:** would i be zuko?

**la(ss)nce:** who the fuck else would you be you emo scum

**keith kogayne:** point taken. 

**hunk as fuck:** oooo!!! shiro!!! you can be mako!!! we can be brothers!!!!

**boneless hand:** i know who sokka katara toph and zuko are but who are mako and bolin

**la(ss)nce:**...shiro have you not watched legend of korra.....

**boneless hand:** no

******la(ss)nce:**....allura

**queen allura:** yeah ill make him watch it

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you havent noticed yet. i suck at writing anything other than dialogue but that's fine. i've been having fun writing this and i hope yall are having a blast too.   
> also i have down how the group chat met and came to be in the first place so if yall want i'll put that in the end notes to the next chapter if you wanna hear.  
> like last time you can hit me up on my social medias if you ever wanna talk  
> tumblr: kidsflash  
> twitter: fireiordszuko
> 
> gimme some feedback and have a good night yall


	3. thicc mints

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> la(ss)nce: IM IN LUNCH RIGHT NOW AND IM HAVING AN ARGUMENT WITH MY FRIENDS AND I NEED MORE OPINIONS 
> 
> la(ss)nce: I KNOW NONE OF YOU FUCKING PAY ATTENTION IN SCHOOL DO NOT IGNORE ME
> 
> la(ss)nce: PIDGE YOURE T W E E TING DONT IGNORE ME
> 
> pidgey: JESUS WHA T DO YOU WANT
> 
> la(ss)nce: its important but i need all of you. 
> 
> hunk as fuck: sorry i was presenting something what's up
> 
> keith kogayne: i just didnt answer bc i like watching lance suffer
> 
> pidgey: aw goals <3

_**(11:46 AM-June 2nd 2017)** _

_**keith is crying over mcr again**_  

 **la(ss)nce:** IM IN LUNCH RIGHT NOW AND IM HAVING AN ARGUMENT WITH MY FRIENDS AND I NEED MORE OPINIONS 

 **la(ss)nce:** I KNOW NONE OF YOU FUCKING PAY ATTENTION IN SCHOOL DO NOT IGNORE ME

 **la(ss)nce:** PIDGE YOURE T W E E TING DONT IGNORE ME

 **pidgey:** JESUS WHA T DO YOU WANT

 **la(ss)nce:** its important but i need all of you. 

 **hunk as fuck:** sorry i was presenting something what's up

 **keith kogayne:** i just didnt answer bc i like watching lance suffer

 **pidgey:** aw goals <3

 **queen allura:** what

 **la(ss)nce:** OKAY

 **la(ss)nce:** MINT CHOCOLATE CHIP COMBO YES OR NO

 **pidgey:** FUCCCCCCCCKKKK MINT CHOCOLATE CHIP

 **la(ss)nce:** FFFUCCCCCCKKK YOUUUUUU

 **pidgey:** that shit is NASTY.

 **queen allura:** um????? what the fuck pidge

 **queen allura:** that shit is the best fuck you 

 **pidgey:** THAT SHIT IS ACTUALLY DI S GU S TING

 **pidgey:** it's like you're eating tooth paste.

 **la(ss)nce:** WHAT KINDA FUCKING MINT CHOCOLATE CHIP COMBOS ARE YOU EATING THAT YOURE SAYING IT TASTES ANYTHING LIKE TOOTH PASTE

 **pidgey:** ITS SHIT 

 **la(ss)nce:** YOURE SHIT

 **hunk as fuck:** im actually allergic to mint and could like die from it so ill say fuck mint too

 **la(ss)nce:** how could you  B E T R A Y ME LIKE THIS HUNK

 **la(ss)nce:** IF ANYONE HERE WAS GOING TO BETRAY ME ****

 **la(ss)nce:** YOURE THE LAST PERSON I WOUL D THINK WOULD DO ME DIRTY LIKE THIS

 **pidgey:** THANK YOU HUNK

 **queen allura:** the fuck is is wrong with all of you

 **la(ss)nce:** wait

 ** **la(ss)nce:**** keith has been quiet

 **la(ss)nce:** where the fuck is kogane

 **keith kogayne:** quietly watching

 ** **la(ss)nce:**** give us your fucking opinion keith

 **keith kogayne:** i cannot 

 **la(ss)nce:** who the fuck do you think you are

 **keith kogayne:** bc ive never had mint chocolate chi

 **la(ss)nce:** hi im sorry what

 **keith kogayne:** ive never had it???

 **la(ss)nce:** is this what heart break feels like

 **la(ss)nce:** can you please go to the store rn and pick some up

 **keith kogayne:** im in class

 **la(ss)nce:** i dont give a shit

 **la(ss)nce:** i cant believe... youve never had mint chocolate chip keith. youre breaking my heart

* * *

_**(12:01 PM-June 2nd 2017)** _

_**klance bets** _

**queen allura:** im changing my bet i think theyre gonna break up there before even starting to date

 **pidgey:** i cant believe we're actually watching the downfall of klance

 **hunk as fuck:** klance 2015-2017

 **hunk as fuck:** you will be miss

 **hunk as fuck:** i am gonna change my bet now tho. im thinking now lance is gonna force feed keith mint chocolate chip ice cream and if keith says its good he's gonna actually start crying and profess his love for him right then and there

 _ **queen allura:**_ Loved “ am gonna change my bet now tho. im thinking now lance is gonna force feed keith mint chocolate chip ice cream and if keith says its good he's gonna actually start crying and profess his love for him right then and there"

 **queen allura:** hmm good guess. very fair. but what if keith tries it before hand?

 **pidgey:** you think keith isnt gonna hold this over lance's head until con?

 **boneless hand:** hi i know im not being active but im in class rn but i just wanna say yeah there is no way in hell keith is gonna eat it. 

 **boneless hand:** one time i told him to scary movie 1 bc i thought it was really funny and then he refused to watch it just to spite me

 **queen allura:** i feel like it says a lot about your personality that you enjoyed scary move enough to recommend it 

 **pidgey:** those movies are fucking funny 

 **queen allura:** yeah but is it something you recommend? 

* * *

 

_**(12:04 PM-June 2nd 2017)** _

_**keith is crying over mcr again**_  

 

 **pidgey:** i cant believe youre letting something so shitty break your heart. you should feel lucky to have never tried it keith

 **queen allura:** NO KEITH IT'S GOOD GO TRY IT

 **keith kogayne:** try what

 **queen allura:** you know what

 **queen allura:** you and your brother are the fucking same 

 **queen allura:** both annoying little fuckers

 **boneless hand:** hey

 **keith kogayne:** hey dont compare me to him he sucks

 **boneless hand:** i practically raised you and this is the thanks i get

 **boneless hand:** i give you my dog to take care of when im in college and you say i suck

 **boneless hand:** i want my dog back ill tell my RA he's a therapy dog

 **keith kogayne:** no blackie loves me more than he ever loved you im his owner now

 **pidgey:** i cant believe you named a black lab blackie

 **boneless hand:** listen i was like 14 and had no originality 

 **keith kogayne:** you say it like you have originality now 

 **boneless hand:** I WANT MY FUCKING DOG

 **keith kogayne:** my dog

 **la(ss)nce:** SHIRO YOU DIDNT ANSWER THE FUCKING MINT QUESTION. ALSO KEITH H OW HAVE YOU NEVER HAD THIN MINTS

 **queen allura:** THE BEST GIRL SCOUT COOKIES

 **pidgey:** THE WORST WORST GIRL SCOUT COOKIES

 **keith kogayne:** ive never had a girl scout cookie either

 **la(ss)nce:** oh god im gonna pass out 

 **boneless hand:** i like mint chocolate chip. rlly good stuff

 **queen allura:** shiro do you wanna get ice cream tonight

 **boneless hand:** yes

 **pidgey:** i cant believe you would betray me like this shiro.

**_pidgey named the conversation "Shit Mints™"_ **

**la(ss)nce:** BULLSHIT

**_la(ss)nce named the conversation "Thicc Mints™"_ **

**_pidgey named the conversation "Shit Mints™"_ **

**_la(ss)nce named the conversation "Thicc Mints™"_ **

**_pidgey named the conversation "Shit Mints™"_ **

**_la(ss)nce named the conversation "THICC MINTS™"_ **

**_pidgey named the conversation "SHIT MINTS™"_ **

**_la(ss)nce named the conversation "THICC MINTS™"_ **

**queen allura:** pidge you need to stop your anti mint propaganda

 **keith kogayne:** you know what i do like tho

 **la(ss)nce:** keith youre just the king of not answering literally anything 

 **keith kogayne:** thank you ive worked on it for 17 years now 

 **keith kogayne:** but i love peanut butter

 **la(ss)nce:** who doesnt???

 **queen allura:** ya but creamy not chunky

 **keith kogayne:** yeah ofc fuck chunky

 **la(ss)nce:** i suddenly know keith again

 **pidgey:** yeah fuck peanut butter too

_**la(ss)nce removed pidgey from THICC MINTS™** _

**hunk as fuck:** lance youre being dramatic

 **keith kogayne** no he isnt

 **queen allura:** yeah i agree that was reasonable theyre being a lil bitch shit talking both peanut butter AND chocolate mint

**_hunk as fuck added pidgey to THICC MINTS™_ **

**_pidgey named the conversation "i hate this fuckign family"_ **

**pidgey _:_** i hate you all so much

 **la(ss)nce:** YOU TOOK IT TO O FAR BRINGING DOWN PEANUT BUTTER

 **hunk as fuck:** yeah that was a bit toofar but lance youre dramatic

 **la(ss)nce:** yeah and the sky is blue

 **queen allura:** ok i need to go to class but i s2g if youre all still arguing about this when i come back im gonna scream

 **pidgey:** im going to go back to paying attention in class 

 **la(ss)nce:** my friends have been worried about me for like 30 minutes now bc i look like i wanna murder someine

 **la(ss)nce:** and it's ALL BC OF YOU PIDGE

 **pidgey:** then ive done my job

* * *

_**(3:32 PM-June 3rd 2017)** _

_**i hate this fuckign family**   
_

**hunk as fuck:** guys we need to discuss something important

 **la(ss)nce:** not this again

 **hunk as fuck:** NO we are not talking about mint anymore

 **la(ss)nce:** good. i wanna like you all when i see you at sdcc

 **hunk as fuck:** that's what i wanna talk about

 **hunk as fuck:** i was thinking why dont we get a hotel room together? like share a hotel room and split the price 

 **queen allura:** oh! me shiro and matt talked about that. the three of us are sharing a room

 **la(ss)nce:** youre gonna share a room with them?

 **queen allura:** yeah matt and shiro are gonna share a bed then i get a queen sized bed to myself. it works for me tbh 

 **keith kogayne:** i like that idea. me lance hunk and pidge can spilt a room 

 **pidgey:** does that mean i have to share a bed with one of you guys???? gross i call hunk he's cuddly 

 **hunk as fuck:** aw thank you pidge. 

 **la(ss)nce:** so i have to share a bed with keith??? but i hate him

 **pidgey:** yes i know he's your rival oh no

 **keith kogayne:** we can sleep on very opposite sides of the bed and never have to face each other lance

 **la(ss)nce:** oh yes of course. we'll avoid each other the whole con

 **keith kogayne:** oh yes. we will never converse. every time one of us enters the room we will never directly see each other. perfect rivals

 **keith kogayne:** also lance are you a blanket hog

 **la(ss)nce:** ehhhhhhhhh lil bit

 **keith kogayne:** so am i. this will be war

 **la(ss)nce:** i will win this war 

****

* * *

 

_**(3:40 PM-June 3rd 2017)** _

_**klance bets** _

**pidgey:** hunk we're actually going to be sleeping in the bed next to them while they literally fuck 

 **pidgey:** theyre going to actually fuck in the bed next to us 

 **pidgey:** im so scared

 **hunk as fuck:** theyre not going to have sex 

 **hunk as fuck:** they might make out but not fuck

 **queen allura:** youll still probably hear one of them moaning if theyre making out

 **pidgey:** AAAAAAAAAAA ALLURA CAN I BUNK WITH YOU

 **queen allura:** shiro and matt will prob end up fucking in the bed next to me. pick your poison. 

 **boneless hand:** A L LL URA W HA T THE FUCK 

 **queen allura:** oh yeah i forgot youre in this gc

 **boneless hand:** I DO NT HAVE FEELINGS FOR MATT FUCJK YOU 

 **pidgey:** ok new bets: whos gonna make the first move: klance or shatt

 **hunk as fuck:** sjkdslf shatt is a terrible name

 **boneless hand:** keith and lance dont have to be subjected to this why do i have to be 

_**queen allura named the conversation "klance vs shatt"** _

**boneless hand:** this is abusive

 **pidgey:** i still think keith and lance are gonna make a move before matt and shiro

 **hunk as fuck:** yeah fair

 **queen allura:** im betting shiro and matt. dont let me down shiro

 **boneless hand:** again, fuck you. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is deadass just basically a filler chapter kinda but it's fun and it really shows everyones personalities and their friendships and i think that's rlly important. well lemme know what yall think so far and remember u can talk to me on my social medias  
> twitter: fireiordszuko  
> tumblr: kidsflash


	4. STORYTIME: MY LIFE IS CURSED???

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> la(ss)nce: im going.... to kill myself...
> 
> la(ss)nce: my laptop.....
> 
> keith kogayne: did it
> 
> keith kogayne: make noises
> 
> la(ss)nce: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> before you read I want every single one of you to understand I am 110% using this chapter as a coping mechanism to let out my anger and EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED TO LANCE HAPPENED TO ME. im very sorry if you dont enjoy dialogue heavy stuff but you are going to be let down today. also this is entirely klance. that's it. if you wanted literally any other character im sorry 
> 
> i hope you enjoy.

_**(3:31 PM-June 10th 2017)** _

**_Private Message: la(ss)nce & keith kogayne_ **

**la(ss)nce:** can you facetime in like half an hour when i get home

 **la(ss)nce:** i have a fanTASTIC STORYTIME 

 **la(ss)nce:** STORYTIME: MY LIFE IS CURSED???

 **keith kogayne:** omg yes i can

 **la(ss)nce:** perfect im gonna be home alone so im gonna be yelling at the top of my lungs it's fine 

 **keith kogayne:** oh yes im so excited 

 **la(ss)nce:** im home. im calling rn 

 **keith kogayne:** ok

* * *

 

It didn't even take more than 10 seconds after Keith had said okay for Lance to call him and for Keith to notice Lance looked like he was about to blow up. 

"So how was your-" Lance cut Keith off before he could even make out his sentence just so he could start actually screaming at the top of his lungs. "JESUS CHRIST WHAT HAPPENED TODAY." Keith yelled over him.

"MY LIFE IS A TRAIN WRECK OF DISASTER AFTER DISASTER AND I THINK THAT MALL IS CURSED AND CURSED ME. STORYTIME: I WANT TO KILL MYSELF." Lance was deadass screaming but Keith was used to his dramatic way of expressing himself. "Okay. Alright, so you remember that noise my laptop was making last night?" 

"Yes it was a horrifying sound. Did you get that checked out?" Keith asked.

"Oh now Keith. I can't just skip into the story like that. You're getting the whole thing. Okay so like it wasn't making the noise constantly just if I moved it in a weird way or something and I was fine with that I really was but this morning something happened. I was just minding my own business when this banger of a song came on so I pounded my desk to the song next to my laptop and for some god forsaken reason, my fucking laptop did not appreciate that and just started screaming at me basically." Lance said taking a second to pause. 

Keith was also taking a second to take it in and try not to laugh directly at Lance because he knew he was stressed at the moment. "Define 'screaming at you'" Keith said holding back a chuckle. 

"I mean it started making this constant clicking sound like this," He said and started rolling his tongue loudly and obnoxiously. "And this isn't the first time it's happen. It's happened a lot. But I was like no it's fine I'll just let it rest for awhile and then the sound will stop. Nope. An hour later it's STILL making the noise so I'm like fuck this. I'm not dealing with this bullshit, I'm bringing it to the Apple Store. So I use my laptop still to book an appointment and it's like 1:15 and I see an appointment for 1:45 and I'm like hell yeah, that's perfect. I'm gonna book that now and get on the road. So I book it and leave and drive to the mall. I get to the mall right and my God is it packed. I get it, it's Saturday but holy fucking shit. So I parked basically a whole football field away from the mall because I'm like 'oh it's fine it's a beautiful day and I don't mind the walk.' So I start heading in, I'm bringing my laptop I get to the Apple Store and it's packed but what else is new. Anyway I approach a worker and tell them I have an appointment and they're like 'Oh okay what's your name?" and I tell them and they're like 'Uhhhhh. Are you sure you have an appointment?' and I'm like thinking to myself 'Yes what the fuck you dumbass' but then calmly tell them 'Yes my name is Lance McClain. It should be there I just booked this about 30 minutes ago' and the guy then tells me 'We don't see you can you pull up the receipt?' and I'm thinking God fucking damn it I don't have the account I use for my Apple ID on my fucking phone nor do I know the password to it. So the guy tells me to use the computer if I need to and I reset the password to that account like I do EVERY time I use that account and pull up the email, but not before I try to scroll down in the email and accidentally go two fucking emails down and accidentally show the Apple employee a fucking club penguin email from who the fuck knows how long ago." 

Keith is just barely holding himself together at this point. Lance looks as if he's going to actually explode his face is so red and he's talking so fast. "Lance, take a fucking breath" Keith told him only to have Lance instead let out another scream. It just sounded like he was doing this to keep himself together at this point. 

"OH NO KEITH WE AREN'T EVEN AT THE GOOD PART YET. IT GET'S BETTER I PROMISE." Lance yelled out of stress. "Okay so I show him the receipt and look at it and low and behold I booked the fucking appointment for fucking Tuesday." He said and grabbed his face screaming in it yet again.

At this point Keith was finally losing his shit and started laughing at Lance's story. "Oh Lance nooooo. How did you do that?" Keith asked and Lance's face was in his hands shaking his head.

"I don't know, Keith. I just booked the appointment and assumed it would be for today. Who assumes that the appointment is for four days in advance? I just wanted my laptop fixed. Anyway. I asked if I could still get an appointment in today for them to look and they were like yeah that's fine but it's about an hour to an hour and a half wait and at this point I don't give a shit I just want my appointment so I told them yes and thank you and walked out. So I'm stressed and thinking this is annoying but could be worse I'll just go grab some lunch. Well I reach into my pocket and guess fucking what."

"Your keys weren't there?"

"Close."

"Wallet?" 

"BINGO. I LEFT MY WALLET IN MY CAR. WHICH REMEMBER, IS LITERALLY IN THE PARKING SPOT THE FURTHEST AWAY FROM THE MALL. But I was hungry and bitter so I was hoping a nice walk would calm me down. Well apparently I subconsciously wanted a REALLY long walk because I walked to the complete opposite side of the mall from where I parked my car so I had to tread back across."

"Oh that is the worst."

"Oh I know. I know. But I sucked it up and walked to my car which took probably took like 15 minutes but it's fine. Once I got in my car I grabbed my wallet and then screamed in it because I was far enough from people that no one could hear me and just let out my feelings." 

"Yeah I get that I scream in my car after work sometimes."

"See? A great relatable feeling. Anyway after that I got out walked back to the mall and got myself some fucking Auntie Anne's cause fuck I was hungry and bitter. Also at this point my phone is at 20% and I'm stressing because I need my phone to be alive for when I get the text from the Apple Store saying it's time for my appointment and I'm just relieved. So I get there. I'm waiting at the Genius Bar take out my computer and think, 'you know the only thing that could make this worse is if my laptop stopped making the noise.'"

"Oh no."

"Oh YES. I OPEN MY LAPTOP AND IT'S SILENT. THE ONE TIME I WANT IT TO BE OBNOXIOUS. So I literally start shaking my laptop looking like a damn fool in the middle of the Apple Store but I don't care I WANT MY LAPTOP TO MAKE NOISE SO HE TAKES MY ISSUE SERIOUSLY." 

"But it doesn't does it?" Keith asked covering his smile with his hand because he doesn't want Lance to know his pain is causing him so much joy and laughter. 

"Why would it Keith? Why would it? BUT I HAVE WITNESSES YOU HEARD THE SOUND! YOU HEARD IT!" Lance yelled. 

"I did this is true I can vouch." 

"Also this store is packed and the guy working on my laptop is working two other people so I get it, he's busy. BUT I NEED HELP AND HE WASN'T LISTENING TO ME. I asked if he could check the fan because this has happened before and the last time it happened it was just debris blocking the fan and the guy just like ignored my plea and just ran diagnostic testing on the fan and was like 'well it's fine but we can send it in if you want too.' and I'm like 'If it's fine why the fuck would I want to send it out you just said there is literally NO ISSUE.' Then finally this ended and I came home and that is the story of how I almost killed myself in an Apple Store." Lance said letting out a big sigh and leaning back. "Hopefully this thing doesn't make anymore noise and I can live my life out in peace." 

Keith just smiled at Lance and put his head down to avoid Lance seeing him laugh because oh my god, Lance just seems to have to worst luck. "I mean it could be worse," Keith said bringing his head up, "Your laptop is okay now. And if it breaks, sue the Apple Store employee." Keith told him and Lance laughed at that. 

"My next youtube clickbait. STORYTIME: THE APPLE EMPLOYEE IS PLOTTING MY DEATH???"

"APPLE IS JUST ONE BIG CAPITALISM SCAM??" Keith said and that one made both of them laugh even harder.

"Now that one is just plain and true. And you know that better than anyone because you're the king of 'Fuck Capitalism' While still owning like what? 3 separate Apple devices?"

"What can I say? The capitalists are cruel but they also know how to do their job. I'm your basic millennial." Keith said shrugging and let out a yawn. "I'm fucking tired."

"Go take a nap. I'm gonna have to leave for my sister's in like an hour and have to go get ready." Lance said and groaned. "My sister and her husband are celebrating their 7 year anniversary and are going out of town for the night so I'm babysitting the little ones over night. 

"That sounds like fun though, send me snapchats of Jas please and if you can FaceTime me so I can tell her I love her so much." Keith said laughing a little bit. 

"Oh and you don't love Jacob?" Lance asked giving Keith a scolding look.

"He's amazing too but Jasmine and I have a strong bond and she's the best kid I know." Keith explained. "Anyway, you go get ready, keep me updated on your whole laptop scene."

"I �definitely will. Bye Keithy Keith." Lance said waving.

"Bye Lancey Lance." Keith said in return hanging up. He gave himself a minute to get himself together and stop smiling. He put his phone down and stood up to go get some water and softly muttered to himself, "Why is he so fucking cute?" 

* * *

 

_**(6:22 PM-June 10th 2017)** _

**_Private Message: la(ss)nce & keith kogayne_ **

******la(ss)nce:** im going.... to kill myself...

 **la(ss)nce:** my laptop.....

 **keith kogayne:** did it

 **keith kogayne:** make noises

 **la(ss)nce:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**keith kogayne:** i assume that means yes

**la(ss)nce:** I WAS MINDING MY OWN FUCKING BUSINESS AND JAS WAS ON IT WATCHING NETFLIX AND SHE PICKED IT UP TO MOVE IT AND AFTER SHE DID I JUST HEARD HER YELL FOR ME AND I WALKED IN AND WAS LIKE “noooOOOOOOOOOO WHAT THE F U C K” and she was so upset and i was like no no no honey i'm not upset with you and calmed her down and just explained it was an already existing issue and just told her we can't use it. 

**la(ss)nce:** but can i just say FUCK THAT APPLE STORE DUDE WHO SAID MY LAPTOP WAS FINE THIS IS SOOOO ANNOYING

**keith kogayne:**  to be fair he did offer to take it in

 **** **la(ss)nce:** after specfically saying it was fine 

 **keith kogayne:** you spelt specifically wrong

 **la(ss)nce:** you think i give a fuck rn kogane. 

 **keith kogayne:** just take the kids to the apple store and send it in

 **la(ss)nce:** theyre going to BED SOON KEITH 

 **keith kogayne:** perfect. sneak out while theyre asleep.

 **la(ss)nce:** ah yes. perfect. i can hear my sister now.

 **la(ss)nce:** "WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEYRE GONE" "idk i came back and they were gone" "WHY WERE YOU GONE LANCE" "bro my fan in my laptop was being suppppeerrr noisy" 

 **la(ss)nce:** then i go to prison for child endangerment

 **keith kogayne:** but were the children found

 **la(ss)nce:** yes they snuck into the neighbors backyard to play in their swing set but then got caught and the neighbors had to bring them back

 **keith kogayne:** i know this is all figurative but that sounded very specific did this happen to you

 **** **la(ss)nce:** yeah when i was like 2 i dont know why i still remember it 

 **la(ss)nce:** ANYWAY I DONT WANT THAT TO HAPPEN TO THEM SO ILL GO IN THE FUCKING MORNING IF IT'S STILL DOING THAT 

 **keith kogayne:** LMAO OK

 **keith kogayne:** lemme know how that works out 

* * *

 

_**(11:45 AM-June 11h 2017)** _

**_Private Message: la(ss)nce & keith kogayne_ **

**la(ss)nce:** good mother fucking morning 

  **keith kogayne:** good morning sunshine.

 **keith kogayne:** it's almost noon for you

 **la(ss)nce:** almost noon means it's time for me to take my piece of shit laptop back to the fucking apple store

 **keith kogayne:** LMAOOOOO IT'S STILL MAKING THE NOISES

 **la(ss)nce:** YA

 **la(ss)nce:** IT FUCKING IS

 **la(ss)nce:** AND I JUST GOT BACK FROM MY SISTERS SO IT'S TIME TO HIT UP THE FUCKING MALL

 **la(ss)nce:** AND IM ANGRY SO YOU WANNA TALK ON THE PHONE WHILE I DRIVE

 **keith kogayne:** ooooo and experience angry lance driving??? yes 

 **la(ss)nce:** SWEET ILL CALL YOU IN MY CAR

* * *

 

The more Lance thought about it the more he realized it was pure bullshit. He felt like shit and was 100% blaming the Apple employee for his current mood because he did not bother to manually check the fan to see if there was an issue. Instead he just pushed it aside and now Lance has to take a second trip to that hell bound mall, probably destined for another shitty trip. He walked into his car and firmly grasped his steering wheel and taking a deep inhale. "You're good Lance. Just peacefully have a nice conversation with Keith on the way there and not scream at every little thing. He really used talking to Keith as some kind of therapy. Keith is a constant in his life. Whenever he needs him he's there. They always text or talk on the phone or video chat. Even occasionally rabbiting to watch a movie together. He's the single most constant thing in his life at the moment and the last thing Lance could imagine is his life without Keith at this point. 

Keith's his best friend. Online and in real life. Internet friends are weird, sometimes the people you thought you would have the least amount of interaction with and least amount of stuff in common, turns out to be the person you love talking to the most. 

Take Lance and Allura for example. They have been friends for a 3 years, longer than any of the other members of their group chat, except Keith and Shiro but they don't count because they grew up together. Lance and Allura have been in the same Twitter fandom for years having multiple mutual interests but are no where near as close as Keith and Lance are and they've only known each other for a year. Keith entering the group chat at all was just a long weird story. The group chat coming together in general was a whole mess. After One Direction had ended both Allura and Lance departed from the One Direction fandom and separated into two different worlds of stan twitter. Lance more into comics/cartoons/anime and Allura stayed stanning people and heavily got into K-pop girl groups. They remained friends though and would always interact so Lance's closer internet friends like Pidge and Hunk would see them talking. Pidge and Hunk became mutuals with Allura and naturally Allura flowed into their group chat and became part of their group. 

Then Allura went to college and met Shiro who would frequently steal her phone and interact with their group chat, eventually leading to Shiro to be added into the group chat and becoming an honorary "Non Stan Member™" and going on to making his very own stan account. Then not long after Shiro was added Lance stalked his Instagram and found a rather attractive man in a couple of his photos and Lance confronted Shiro about it because "Shiro please who the fuck is this man he's actually the prettiest boy I've ever seen I'm gonna cry who is he." to which Shiro explained that's his brother and Pidge thought of the lovely idea to add Keith to the group chat to truly torment Lance into talking to the man he called "the hottest man in the world". 

The rest was history after that. Keith got along with everyone in the group chat really well and even joined them in their occasional Skype group video chats. The video chats were actually how Lance and Keith got close. 

One night when they were all on Skype "coincidentally" everyone except for Lance and Keith had to leave at the same time. Making the two of them forced into conversation with one another. Which surprising enough to both of them came extremely easily to them. They both had fun that time talking one on one so they started FaceTiming once or twice a week which turned into multiple times a week which has turned into daily calls every day just to talk to each other or even just have the other person be there not speaking, just knowing Keith was on the other line really eased his tensions a lot. It had been like this for a year and a half now and the group chat was really just used to Keith and Lance being just that. Keith and Lance. You really couldn't associate one without the other. 

So once Lance was settled down in his car he called Keith over his bluetooth and was on his way. The phone ringed a couple of times, close enough to the point where he thought Keith wasn't gonna answer and he was definitely going to be annoyed if that was the case. 

"Hellllllooooo." He finally heard Keith answer.

"I don't wanna go to the stupid Apple Store what if the guy who helped me yesterday see's me?" Lance asked starting his drive, luckily the mall was barely 10 minutes away so the ride would be quick. but that also meant his conversation with Keith would be quick so it was bittersweet. 

"He isn't going to even remember you most likely Lance. You probably won't even deal with the same guy and he won't notice you because he'll be helping someone else. This is all assuming he's even working again today." Keith pointed out. "How long is your drive?"

"Should be no more than 10-15 minutes. Sorry I'll have to cut our conversation slightly brief for the day." Lance teased. Keith scoffed at that and you could probably hear him rolling his eyes.

"You're saying that like we aren't gonna FaceTime after you get back no matter  _what_ happens." Keith went on and dramatically altered his voice to sound like Lance, "Oh you won't believe it! I went there and the person who was looking at my computer DIDN'T know the password to my computer and had to ask me to put it in. Everyone knows it's louis1221!" 

"I TOLD YOU MY TWITTER PASSWORD IN THE HOPE I WOULD NOT BE MOCKED LATER ON DOWN THE ROAD." Lance yelled from in his car causing Keith to burst out into laughter. "I am not that dramatic Keith Aaron Kogane." 

"Yes you are Lance R. McClain." 

"You know my middle name, Keith." 

"Your middle name isn't Royal, Lance. Stop trying to convince me of that. And everyone honestly just stop pushing this Royal propaganda." Keith said rubbing his forehead.

"My middle name is so Royal. I've had my mother confirm this for you and have shown you my birth certificate. I don't know why you're shocked have you met me? I'm so extra it's not a shock at all that I would have an extra middle name to match my personality." 

"So you were just destined to be extra." 

"Is it truly shocking?" Lance asked as he slowly stopped at an annoying light that he knows the light would be red for like 5 minutes. He looked at the car in front of him and noticed something that made him want to die. "Keith." Lance said with a tone that Keith knew Lance was going to say something serious.

"Yeah?" He responded curiously. 

"The car in front of me at this light has a "It's Lit" sticker on the back of it. Along with a Vineyard Vine one, a pineapple with sunglasses, and a fucking elephant. I want to rear end them." 

"Oh my God." Was the first thing out of Keith's mouth and then he paused for a second. "Can you get a picture of it?" He asked curiously. Luckily enough Lance is still at the red light so he quickly unlocked his phone went to snapchat and sent Keith a picture of the car in front of him. Keith was quiet for a second until he finally broke the quiet and started laughing his ass off at the picture. "AND THE CAR IS A MIN COOPER." Keith yelled in laughter. "Wait wait wait, Lance. Lance, that's not a Vineyard Vine sticker. That's Ivory Ella." He pointed out. 

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS WORSE." Lance yelled in return then the light turned green. "NOW THE MINI COOPER WON'T GO. GO IVORY ELLA THE LIGHT IS GREEN. Keith I swear to God if this motherfucker is going to the mall I'm following them and going to fight one on one whoever the fuck is driving this car." 

"Please don't do that."

"Maybe I'll just rear end them and drive off. They're never know."

"That's worse."

"If I hit their car it would be a cosmetic improvement, Keith."

"Do not hit the Mini Cooper please." Keith had to practically beg at this point to keep Lance from doing something stupid. A twist of events since Lance is normally Keith's impulse control.

"I won't I've already gotten into enough accidents. Two times is enough to teach you a lesson." Lance said making his turn towards the mall when he noticed something. "Keith, Mini Cooper is going to the mall."

"DO NOT FOLLOW THEM."

"I just might do it if they park in the area I happen to need to be in." Lance responded.

"Lance, please-" Keith begun but was interrupted. 

"Ah shit they're going to the movie theater. Ah what scum fuck you Mini Cooper. They're probably seeing The Emoji Movie." Lance said in disgust.

"Lance, that movie doesn't come out until your birthday." 

"They might be waiting for it, you never know."

"Another example of you being dramatic." Keith practically sang.

" _Another example of you being dramatic."_ Lance mocked. "Fuck you, Kogane."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"I'm at the mall."

"No." Keith said then paused for a second. "Okay, so does that mean you gotta go?" Keith asked.

"Sadly yes." Lance answered. "I'll text you okay?" 

"Okay, bye." Keith said and hung up after hearing Lance say it too. 

He was definitely disappointed the conversation got cut short.

* * *

 

_**1:25 PM-June 11h 2017)** _

**_Private Message: la(ss)nce & keith kogayne_ **

**la(ss)nce:** say goodbye to my laptop for 3-5 days.

 **keith kogayne:** you finally decided to give it up for a couple of days.

 **la(ss)nce:** leaving my laptop with them was so hard. it felt like I was leaving my first born child at an orphanage. 

 **la(ss)nce:** i also didn't back it up so if anything gets lost im FUCKED

 **keith kogayne:** lance i love you but why the fuck would you not back it up

 **la(ss)nce:** bc then i would have had to drive home and i am a #risktaker

 **keith kogayne:** please never do that again

 **la(ss)nce:** the hashtag or send my laptop out un backed up

 **keith kogayne:** both 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've never written a bigger mess. this is the biggest shit post of a chapter.,.,. but this entire chapter is based off of events that happened to me,.,. so my life is a fucking shit post.   
> anyway talk to me on my social medias or whatever

**Author's Note:**

> i really indulged myself in this fic. like, i am truly lance.  
> anyway if u ever wanna hmu  
> twitter: fireiordszuko  
> tumblr: kidsflash
> 
> talk to me im cool


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